Daniel Kligerman

Walking the Earth

Aphids Attack!

Just in time for the afternoon rush hour yesterday, a giant swarm of tiny green insects descended upon downtown Toronto.

It was quite a sight.

Pedestrians and bikers, already sticky from the thick, sloppy air, found themselves covered in thousands of miniature invaders. Like something out of a Batman movie, people were hopelessly swatting, running, doing anything to escape their attackers.

Most interesting was that nobody remembered ever seeing anything like it before. In the middle of a lazy summer, when everyone seems to go into a content, lethargic daze, something as new and unusual as an aphid infestation caused a splash of excitement.

Being the good Canadian that I am, I immediately retreated to the cool confines of the hockey rink, and by the time the game was over the bombardment of bugs had ended.

But years from now, with an appropriate amount of exaggeration and embellishment, this will be one of those stories that is told by smiling grandfathers to curious grandchildren, wondering about what an odd place the world used to be.

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